


Bus Stop

by kingofsass



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Avengers - Freeform, College AU, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Sad, Science Bros, TW: Suicide, black hawk - Freeform, brotherly thorki, thorloki - Freeform, tw: self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-27
Updated: 2012-11-27
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:04:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingofsass/pseuds/kingofsass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha held Clint’s hand. Clint was not sleeping, for once. Not today, because he felt what Natasha knew.</p><p>She could see Thor’s bus stop approaching.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bus Stop

**Author's Note:**

> So. I can only seem to write sad things these days… Please enjoy.
> 
> Lots of gratitude to my beta Laughing-Jackdaw.

Natasha let a soft sigh escape her lips as she looked out of the bus’s window, face impassive.

Behind her she could hear the voices of her friends, laughing and fooling around. Thor was telling a story about his last football match, where he and Steve saved the team’s honour. The match had been long and exiting, and they scored a touchdown in the last two minutes. His voice was proud and friendly, and Natasha could see Steve’s shy and modest smile in the reflection of the window. She inwardly smiled at that: Steve was nothing but innocent in some ways. The only time she had seen him act anything but friendly was when insulted his loved ones.

A soft snore was heard from the sat next to her. Clint had fallen asleep. Again. Every day when they took the school bus home Clint always fell asleep next to her. He had once told her that he could only truly sleep when she was next to him. It had been one of the moments Clint had looked so vulnerable, so trusting.

Sometimes Natasha still wondered why he trusted her so much. His life hadn't been easy, but then again, neither had hers. Still, he treated her like she was worth something and Natasha couldn't help but guess for his motives from time to time. An old habit. She had learned to doubt everything she knew and Clint was no exception. Moments like these made her ask herself the same questions over and over again. What made her so special, so different from the others? Why did he give her everything, including his love? He had given her so much more than anyone else ever had.

In return, she had always given him all she had.

In the seats behind theirs she could hear Tony and Bruce discussing another one of their chemistry projects. They did a lot of those together, mostly just for fun. The experiments ranged from pretty useful to a complete waste of time – but still funny.

Tony was talking about another idea that had popped up in that crazy mind of his, almost rambling, while Bruce listened patiently and threw in some thoughtful comments that made Tony pause. After Tony found an appropriate response, the cycle would begin anew.

Those two would change the world, someday, Natasha was sure of it. She didn’t know if it would be for better or for worse – but hey, what’s the future without a little surprise?

She caught Tony’s eye in the reflection of the window and he smiled. She nodded back and leaned her head against the window again.

Tony had come to their school as an arrogant, cocksureboy because of the fact that he was a Stark and a genius. Natasha had been one of the few to see through his façade and into his lonely soul. She had subtly urged their chemistry teacher into pairing Bruce and Tony together for one of their projects.

One thing led to another. Now Tony fitted into their little group like he had always been there. And they cared for and defended their own. The glimpse of loneliness in the eyes of the genius had almost vanished completely. When it returned, Bruce was always there to cheer Tony up.

Natasha heard something move behind her as Thor finished his story and rose from his seat. She had anticipated that: they were almost at Thor’s bus stop. Natasha, whose eyes had closed when over thinking Tony’s past, opened her eyes again.

When she looked to the bus’s front, she saw Thor already standing in front of the bus doors. He was saying something to Coulson, their bus driver, whilst Coulson just looked impassive and gave a – certainly an unshakable, because Coulson was always unshakable – short response.

The bus doors opened and everyone looked at Thor, as if expecting a miracle.

Thor immediately jumped out of the bus and took off, running almost as hard as he did on the football field.

 

Laughter filled the bus, and even Thor’s football friends couldn’t help but snicker. No one said anything, but Natasha could almost hear everyone think: ‘ _Why does he run like that every single day? What’s important enough to him to hurry so?_ ’ When the bus started riding again, Natasha would bet money on the fact that everyone’s mind was on something else already. Thor ran like this every day.

Well, not everyone. Tony and Bruce had stopped brainstorming. And when she looked in the mirror, she could see that Steve’s smile had been replaced by a frown.

They were worried for their friend.

Natasha was the only one on the bus who knew that their worry was more than justified.

 

// _onceuponatime_ //

 

Miss Hill, their English teacher, turned the lights on again as the movie ended. ‘Class is over, guys. See you all tomorrow!’

Everyone was already up and leaving, casual chatter filling the room. Natasha sat still for just a moment and wondered why Thor wasn’t the first to run through the door, as always. She knew why when she looked to her left, and saw Thor sleeping on his table.

She mentioned for the others to go ahead. ‘I’ll wake him up, don’t worry. Just go, we’ll meet up with you soon.’ Clint gave her a concerned look, and she gave him one of her rare smiles, the ones she only saved for him. She mouthed ‘go’ and he nodded. She smiled. Trusting her judgement like this… Clint truly was wonderful.

Natasha turned around and approached Thor. Her earlier assumption was right: he was having a nightmare. Thor was shaking slightly and his eyelids were fluttering. Natasha narrowed her eyes and silently approached him.

Thor was muttering in his sleep.

As she took the seat next to Thor, she gave the classroom a quick once-over. Nobody was standing in the doorway or outside the windows, and Miss Hill had left too. Thank god for small mercies. Natasha had wanted to ask Thor about something for quite a while and this was the perfect opportunity.

She turned her attention to Thor when his mumbling became intelligible.

‘Put that down… Down, please…’

His tone was worried and more serious than she had ever heard from him.

‘Please, I beg you!’

She frowned and rose from her to wake him up. She didn’t like it to see her friends in pain, even if it was only a nightmare.

‘Brother, please! Don’t do this to yourself… …listen to me! Just… yes, put it over there. Come here, will you? No, I will not hurt you, just…’

Natasha watched with masked shock as a tear dripped down Thor’s cheek. She decided this was enough (and it was enough, for she now knew everything, but oh, she wished she didn’t) and pinched Thor, hard.

Thor’s eyes flew open as he almost slid out of his seat. ‘What!?’ he almost screamed. His hair was in disarray and his eyes held a panicked look.

‘Shhh!’ Natasha scorned him. His eyes found her and she clasped her hand over his in a rare gesture of affection.

Thor’s mouth became a grim line once he saw her expression.

‘I talked in my sleep again, didn’t I?’ he asked her.

Natasha just nodded. The blond noticed more than he let on, or so it seemed.

‘And you have pierced most of it together, as you always do, I guess?’ His voice was trembling, just ever so slightly.

She nodded again.

‘I trust you to keep this a secret, whatever you know or you think you know. Please.’

‘Thor.’ She told him. He looked at her strangely.

‘If you ever want to vent, to talk about him or what has happened to him, just tell me. I won’t tell a soul. Not even Clint.’

Thor gave her a long look, seizing her up. He was deciding whether to trust her or not. Finally closing his eyes with a pained exhale, he grabbed her in a bear hug.

And, much to Natasha’s secret horror, started to cry softly.

Miss Hill just entered the classroom, but when she saw the two of them and Natasha waved for her to go away, she left.

Thor cried for almost ten minutes straight. This was something shocking in itself, as Natasha had never seen Thor cry before.

When his sobs subsided and his tears stopped, he talked.

And that was how Natasha learned the story of Loki.

 

// _loki_ //

 

Loki was Thor’s brother, but not by blood. Thor had never understood why his parents favoured him over Loki – and if even Thor could see it, then it had to be bad – because even though Thor had more friends and was an excellent sportsman, did they not see how easy Loki aced all his tests?

When Loki discovered he was adopted – he wasn’t told, their parents didn't have the guts to tell him so Loki discovered it himself with the help of the internet – he wasn’t angry. He wasn’t furious. He wasn’t even a little mad. He only felt sadness.

For him, Loki had later told Thor, the adoption was simply one of the reasons he was a failure. His own parents hadn’t even wanted him when he was born, still a babe, so why would anybody else want him when he was grown up?

Thor always told Loki that whatever happened _he_ would always want Loki near. And Thor knew that he was the reason Loki carried on, back then. Whatever happened during the day, in the evening Thor would discuss it and soothe Loki’s mental and sometimes physical wounds. After that, they would play and Thor would distract Loki in a way so the two brothers sincerely enjoyed themselves.

Those evenings were some of the best in Thor’s life.

It all went wrong when they had to go to high school.

Their parents decided to apply them to different schools. Whatever Thor tried, begging and screaming and crying, didn’t help. Their minds had been made up.

So Thor went to an expensive and excellent high school while Loki went to a school with no decent teachers and a lot of bullies.

And of course, he was their target.

In elementary school, nobody openly messed with Loki because they were afraid of Thor. Now, Loki didn’t have Thor anymore.

Every day, Thor came home to a crying or shivering Loki holed up in his room. And every day, Thor held him for just a little bit longer.

His parents told them both to ‘stop whining.’

One day, Thor had forgotten his homework, gotten detention and missed the bus. He came home an hour late.

His parents were mad and send him upstairs. Thor decided to check up on Loki first.

Loki’s room was empty.

Thor panicked and ran to his own room, which was also empty. He then decided to check out the bathroom.

Loki was laying on the ground, unconscious, with his wrists stained red and a pair of scissors in his right hand.

That day was the last day Thor forgot anything.

 

// _back_ //

 

Life went on.

Every day Thor ran and every day Natasha could see the frowns of their friends getting a little deeper, the set of their mouths slightly more grim.

And every day, everyone kept chuckling and joking when Thor ran off again.

He ran for his brother, who was sitting at home, alone, no happiness in his life except for Thor. Nothing to keep him from picking up the blade again, to end his existence which he deemed unworthy. Nothing except the love from and for his brother.

He ran for his family, because everyone was always fighting, but not when he was around, because he was the one who sacrificed everything to keep his family whole.

He ran for himself, because he held hope in in hands and voice, and because he believed it would all become better, soon.

Natasha had long since stopped laughing.

 

// _then_ //

 

One day, Thor didn’t show up.

The bell rang at the same time as it normally did. Natasha sneaked notes to Clint during their third period and Tony almost blew up the lab just before lunch. Lunch tasted the same as always and when she and Clint went to see Steve practising at the end of the day he ran as fast as ever.

Still, Natasha couldn't shake the weird feeling in her gut all day. She and Clint huddled closer together than normal. When they met up with the others in a free period, nobody was at ease and not much was said. All of them were worried, even though it went unspoken.

Everyone else just assumed Thor was sick.

The next day, Thor still hadn’t turned up.

 

// _when_ //

 

A week later, Thor was back.

He acted normal, smiling and joking and laughing with the others. He told everyone that he had indeed been sick for a week. It was not something to worry about, according to him.

Natasha kept a close eye on Thor all day long.

On the bus ride home, Thor sat in the back again, as always. And again, Natasha could see his bus stop approaching through the window. She held Clint his hand, who was not sleeping for once. Not today, because he could feel what Natasha knew.

When Natasha removed her gaze from the window into the bus, Thor was walking to the front of the bus again, as always.

The atmosphere changed just the slightest bit. Everyone looked at each other as if placing bets. Some of them even started sniggering again.

Natasha squeezed Clint’s hand harder.

The bus doors opened.

Thor calmly stepped out of the bus and walked away, not looking back.

 

He had stopped running.

**Author's Note:**

> So. Yeah.
> 
> I read this idea, sort of, on tumblr and I just had to write an avenger!story about it. I have no idea how football works, so I hope that part was right. I also apologize for any of you who might be offended or otherwise negatively affected by the subject of self-harm. I do not mean to offend any of you; I only want to write a story. Thank you for reading.


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